Chapter 4 - CATALYST FOR PATIENCE.

By now, we know patience starts within you, and reading all the books about patience will not magically make you patient. Patience is not learned intellectually; it is formed internally.

Below are tried-and-tested approaches that will assist you on your journey to acquiring patience:

1. RELIGION AND SPIRITUALITY.

If you believe in spirituality or religion, then you are in luck. All you need to do is ask for it in prayer. This is the fastest way to acquire it. Nothing transforms your inner being more than contact with a higher power. So whatever your belief, pray fervently for patience and be prepared to accept the trials that come with gaining this virtue - it is not cheap.

2. A LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE.

Some of the most impatient people I know gained patience after experiencing a traumatic or life-changing experience. When something shakes you to the core, it can transform your very being from the inside. This is one of the surest ways I have seen others acquire patience.

Some real-world examples:

1. Mothers often develop a higher-than-usual level of patience after childbirth and years of nurturing.  (Side note: Try staying with a toddler for just a day to test your patience level  🤣)
2. Surviving a near-death experience
3. Deep regret for an action made in anger, which led to a devastating outcome.

3. HOPE.

Hope means looking forward to a solution in the future for a present problem. Hence, if you have the solution now, then it ceases to be hope. Hope by its very nature is long-term and future-oriented. Meaning, there is no hope without patience. This corroborates the second realistic definition of patience in Chapter 1 - The philosophy of patience.

An example:

Your mom's birthday is approaching in 2 weeks, and you want to get her an expensive birthday gift. Currently, you are short of cash. Fortunately,  your employer has promised a large bonus next week. What can you do now? Nothing… but wait patiently. 

The cash bonus in this example has now become a source of hope. If you have no other solution but to hope, then patience becomes your best friend. In conclusion, hope is one of the best teachers of patience.

4. A VERY STRONG NEED FOR PATIENCE

My journey began with a strong and sincere desire to improve my relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. That created a genuine need to understand and acquire this virtue. 

These are some steps to help you on your own journey:

1. Admit you don't have it yet: I stayed in denial for a long time before eventually admitting I needed to work on my patience. I even got called out by some close friends before I finally accepted the truth. You cannot learn something you think you already know. That is why admission is a crucial first step.
2. Have a strong reason to acquire it: Aside from my desire to improve my relationships, I also wanted to be a good teacher and communicator. Surprisingly, patience is the foundation for most other desirable qualities, making it even more enticing to pursue. 
3. Understand it.  That is the sole purpose of this blog - to help you understand the basic nature of patience and to prepare your mind to receive it.  

In the next section, we discuss how to identify true patience in others, how to measure it, and debunk some misconceptions about it.

If you find this relatable, share it with a friend! Follow Bytes&Lessons for more realistic guides to understanding and navigating complex concepts.

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