REJECTIONS STINGS

Updated on

Every day I understand why most people don’t like asking for help. The shame of rejection cuts deep.

Imagining always having the capacity to do everything yourself, always supporting others wholeheartedly, and the only time you need something, you get excuses or worse, outright rejections. 😂

It is even worse if it is from someone you went all out for. I don’t wish this experience on anyone, but it can make you rethink the “be good to others without expecting anything” value that was drummed into us as kids. Because if I go all out 100% for you, and you can’t even give me 1% when I need it the most, then what’s the point?

But… Before I convert you into a full-blown super villain, hear me out. I learnt something important. INTENTION doesn’t mean CAPACITY. You are able to help because you have the CAPACITY and INTENTION. Others may have the INTENTION but lack the CAPACITY.  Others too may have the CAPACITY but have no INTENTION of helping. Let me explain:

  • You can help someone with $1,000 because you have the CAPACITY and good INTENTION. But when the tables turn and you need just $50, you will notice the person has the INTENTION but lacks the CAPACITY.

 

  • The same is also true with time. (This one really gets on my nerves) You may be good with time management, so you can easily give others your time, but the other party, who lacks the time management CAPACITY, will give you excuses when you need just a min of their time. (Like bro, I am working on 10x the things you claim to be working on but I still make time for you, why can’t you do the same for me!)

 

  • Same with skills and effort. You may be good at say… Consoling a sad person, but you realized the other party can’t do the same for you when you are in need of that.

The hard truth is, reality never matches our ideals and beliefs. And if you don’t understand the distinction between CAPACITY AND INTENTION, you’ll turn super-villain. One day I will write about that as well.

Now  the big question is. Do you always “Help without expecting anything in return”? Or be strategic by helping only those with CAPACITY AND INTENTION?

 

I am a writer who writes about life lessons  and technology. Check out my latest book “TEACHING GRANDMA AI” on Amazon/ Selar/ Lulu.